Im at strip club and am horny
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
