I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
