her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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