Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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