I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize