it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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