Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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