sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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