getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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