We won't sleep together?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
