You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
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who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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