I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
