Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
