You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
