So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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