when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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