Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
