I cannot find my penis.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
