I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.