Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around