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• (708): View more from Illinois

  He uses pillows to masturbate.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (315): View more from New York

  My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I fucking hate you.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.

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• (323): View more from California

  He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.

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• (385): View more from Utah

  That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.

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• (341): View more from California

  Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you

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