Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Genius.

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(214): View more from Texas

He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

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(914): View more from New York

still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.

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