Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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  (412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e
  Replies (24) Good night (4226) Bad night (952)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

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  (334): nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fuyv
  Replies (20) Good night (622) Bad night (5429)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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  (773): Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name. http://tfl.nu/27vq
  Replies (15) Good night (5588) Bad night (1783)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Drunk. I slept-stripped.

  (914): View more from New York

  By myself.

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  (914): Drunk. I slept-stripped. (914): By myself. http://tfl.nu/r1zm
  Replies (4) Good night (2330) Bad night (918)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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  (717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc
  Replies (6) Good night (1326) Bad night (718)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!

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  (314): also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!! http://tfl.nu/6chb
  Replies (17) Good night (1268) Bad night (588)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up

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  (780): Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up http://tfl.nu/x63c
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (533)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...

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  (509): Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night... http://tfl.nu/llkl
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (367)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

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  (240): Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished? http://tfl.nu/q6tp
  Replies (3) Good night (1202) Bad night (538)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1319) Bad night (295)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW

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  (860): NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW http://tfl.nu/dzo6
  Replies (12) Good night (978) Bad night (295)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..

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  (306): I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights. (1-306): I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year.. http://tfl.nu/9s2f
  Replies (2) Good night (1075) Bad night (224)
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  (916): View more from California

  On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome

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  (916): On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome http://tfl.nu/qd8h
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (304)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.

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  (+44): There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though. http://tfl.nu/j5bh
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (611)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You're a good person. Sharing is caring.

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  (412): I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done. (904): You're a good person. Sharing is caring. http://tfl.nu/jz12
  Replies (0) Good night (1061) Bad night (261)

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