week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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