i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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