Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
