I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
