Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
