dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
