We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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