Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
