just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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