At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
