the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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