It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
