I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I AM VODKA MAN
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
