I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My vagina is officially offended.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ok first of all what the fuck
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
