if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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