Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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