My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My vagina is officially offended.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
