What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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