glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
