How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Drunk is a universal language darling
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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