I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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