He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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