it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
