I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
