The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
