this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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