i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
