Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
