I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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