yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
