hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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