also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
