I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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