Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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