Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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